The Pressure to Always Be ‘Building Something’ Is Exhausting
It was in one of my favourite coffee shops that I started thinking about writing in English. Not just to improve my skills, but to share something real. Something deeper. Maybe even become a Brazilian version of Carrie Bradshaw, living in a sunny city far from everything I once knew and far from the pressure to always be building something.
Right now, I’m living on the Gold Coast, Australia. I moved here to rebuild my life after losing my father, a loss that shook everything. In many ways, I came here to start over. Since then, I’ve been trying to find direction again. However, I’ve been feeling the pressure to always be building something: a career, a relationship, a future. And it’s exhausting.
The ‘Hustle Culture’ Mentality and the Pressure to Always Be Building Something
Everything looks like a race. Who has had more success in your own life? However, success is very relative. Some people think that having a structured family is success, others think that having a travel life is success, or having a good position working in a big and recognised company is success. In most cases, all of these definitions of success need to be shared on social media, even if only to a small audience.
Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn increased this sensation that if you aren’t showing anything, it’s the same as being stuck doing absolute nothing. And this sensation could be deeper, like when you feel motivated to really start doing something and, in the end, you feed a delicious procrastination and start to blame yourself for having done anything.
Do you believe that I was reading a description of a job on Seek and stopped to continue writing this post? Because I started writing in a coffee shop and now I’m lie down in my bed getting ready to try have a good sleep but I remember that I need to finish this post to finally publish my first post in english because I told to everyone that I’ll start do posts in english and now I need to deliver, right? But, oh… the delicious procrastination.
Feeling Behind at 30: The Age Pressure
As I posted before here (but in portuguese), I turned 30 and, yeah, I still don’t have a relationship, I’m lost in my career, and children? I have no idea. Naturally, it’s hard not to compare yourself with your colleagues and friends in this stage of life.
Sometimes, I have this fake feeling that I have an “expiration date” to get this stuff. Like, fuck… I’m already 30 years old, and I have never had a long relationship, so I’m so so far from having children because even if I were sure about having kids, I don’t even have an ex to think about this. You know what I mean here? So let’s go deeper, thinking without a person in this… (it’s unfair to put this responsibility on someone, I know).
I have my degree, and I know how to do a lot of things in my field. Still, I don’t feel like a “professional”. I know a little bit about everything, so in the end, I’m not “the best” at anything. In addition, I know how to create a good campaign, I know all the marketing techniques to grow organically, I know how to edit a photo, how to do a good design, how to record and edit a video, how to attract the correct target, but how am I as a professional? I’m everything. I’m a marketing specialist, social media, graphic design, video editor, photographer… so I’m a Barbie?
Redefining What It Means to ‘Build Something’
Sometimes, we have already built something, but no one can see it because it could be a mental health, self-awareness, or just a little habit day by day. In reality, “doing anything” is already something like giving space to think or recalculate your route, and I love it.
I love using this term: recalculating the route. Because it is like you are driving – I even have a driver’s license, but anyway – and sometimes you enter the wrong way, but you are so distracted by the landscape around you that you don’t realise yet that you are following the wrong way to you. Eventually, hours, days or months later, you notice it was the wrong road. And that’s okay. Take the next turn and get back on track.
We always forget about the invisible process, like when you learn something new during your day and completely forget that at the end of your day, because it’s not something visible to the eyes. Or the simple fact of chill, preparing your body for something big that’s coming soon.
To be honest, whenever I need to work standing up for long hours,I like to do absolutely nothing the day before. In my mind, this helps my body prepare to perform better.
You’re Not Behind, You’re Just Tired of Building Something
I’m writing this post because I know several people are in the same boat as me. What we tend to forget is: we’re just living. I’m also here writing these posts because I want to improve my skills in writing English. I always love to write! I have had this blog since 2011, so 14 years now and 1.154 posts published.
So, yeah, I have a lot of things to tell here, and one of these things will be about all my experience in my 30s phase, since I’m in this now. I don’t have where to run out of this, I need to face my reality. At the moment, I’m lost. Lost in my professional life and also in my romantic life, so two interesting subjects to blurt out of my mind.
You’re Living.
If you read this post until here, I need to tell you: not everyone is on the same timeline. And why I’m was I saying this? Because I know that have some people low to 30s and I don’t want to scare you with my reality. A lot of people achieve their goals at 20, 25 years old, or even less than this. Who knows?
After all, maybe what you’re building can’t be seen yet, it’s inside and only you can feel it. And that still counts. Not every part of life needs to be productive or public to matter. And maybe, it’s okay to take a break from the pressure to always be building something. I’m with you on this one!
